‘THE’ presentation

It was good. It was really good (according to me anyways). I was actually thinking that I will be nervous and that I’ll forget half the things. But when I went and stood in front of the class, I was so calm and so cool, that I was thinking why I am not scared yet. Haha.. I was waiting to get nervous. But I didn’t, so it was just awesome. And people apparently understood what I was saying, so I am happy.

This was really weird, because as far as I remember, I had stage fear. I could not stand in front of people and speak without stammering. But that day I didn’t even stammer once! So freaky.

When I was in 9th or 10th, I had to give a speech in the school assembly. I had prepared everything well. I don’t remember if I was nervous or anything. But I went there on the stage, looked into the paper, then looked at all the students waiting for me to say something. And I was just blank!(this with the paper in my hand) Then I said “good afternoon”. Thank god, no one laughed. It was 9 in the morning, you see? But after that good afternoon thing, everything was fine. I actually didn’t even realize that I had said something like that. It was only later that my classmates told me that I had made such a dumb mistake.

So anyways, after that speech in school I was always apprehensive about making mistakes like that. But after this seminar of mine, I’ve become confident. Which is a good thing, of course.

That's it

Finally I wrote only 3 subjects, even though I had prepared for the last one. There is this unwritten rule that you can’t write all the 4 subjects, so I had to follow it, you know? I know I will be regretting this later, when during the 3rd internals I will have no time to study coz I will be busy ‘preparing’ for the finals.

Anyways, nothing much going on lately. I have been trying to finish my ppt, since god knows when, and its not getting completed. I mean, I sit in front of the computer, and the modem automatically switches on, and I am connected to the internet. And then I start reading blogs, or whatever. I have no idea how people can manage to work AND blog at the same time.

So, my ppt is almost over, though I am not really happy with some of the slides. Come to think of it, I will never be happy with the whole thing. Every time I see a slide I see a fault in it. My seminar is in 2 days, and my preparation is almost zero. Heck! The ppt is still not ready!

I wont be panicking today, or tomorrow. But on the day of the seminar, I know there will be butterflies in my stomach. I can almost feel it. Haha. I don’t want anything to go wrong that day. Looks like anything related to my seminar is jinxed. First, I could not do the topic that I wanted to do coz some other idiot wanted to do it. And then, 2 days back (during internals), because of a high voltage power that came through magically in the wires, caused a spark in the CPU. And because of this, the CPU was not getting switched on. It got fixed yesterday evening by 8 pm. And I tried to complete the ppt. But by 11 or something, I was just so damn sleepy, that I had to go to sleep. This was probably coz of the 5-hour sleep that I had in the past 3 or 4 days.

Internals time yet again

Staring from Thursday, my internals are staring. And I just opened my books today morning. Well, I did open it yesterday too, but I spent most of the time staring at the book rather than reading it. I’m just not able to concentrate! Atleast today I studied a chapter in a subject. So am happy about that. And I have no clue as to how exactly I will complete studying for the internals in 3 days. Maybe I'll just write 3 subjects. Hmmm..

Whatever, the thing is that I am just wasting my time doing nothing. If I take Sunday as an example, then I can’t even recollect what I did the whole day. Haha, and today I bunked college, so that I can study at home, and here I am. Blogging. Don’t know what the hell it is that I am doing.

I won’t study now, and when the results come, I’ll wonder why I didn’t get good marks. Why the others got more than me. It’s the same old cycle that comes again and again. Ughh, so many more exams to write. Luckily I gotta study only 4 subjects this semester.

Talk to me

Wow… so many days since I blogged. And I just realized that in February I just wrote some 5 or 6 posts, which totally sucks. I don’t know if it is blogger’s block or whatever. It just seems weird for me to suddenly write what I am thinking and whatnot.

So my granny has come home, and she is totally bugging me out. Yeah, she has some stories to tell and all, but it’s getting kind of boring for me to listen to the same old things about the same old people that I don’t know. And the funny part is that she likes talking with me. And most of the times I don’t even listen to her. If I am not doing anything I just stare at her, nod after every sentence, and say “hmmm” after every 3 sentences that she says. And if I am doing something, like using the comp or something, then she gets nothing. Gosh I suck. I mean, there are these people who would do anything to spend time with their grandma’s and grandpa’s, and I am not even acknowledging her when she talks with me.

Oh well… I don’t get why she likes talking with me anyway. But what I have noticed is that most people like talking with me. Like there is this aunt of mine, who’ll come and tell me all sorts of things, whether I wanna listen to it or not. And there is this classmate of mine who comes and tells me all of her troubles. It’s cool. But I don’t know why they would rather tell me, and not others. I don’t seem to tell them anything.

I am not telling that I don’t wanna listen to these people when they talk with me. I like listening to people. In fact, rather than talking, I would rather listen to people. I find it very interesting sometimes. Just wondering why it is me that they like talking to.

Lets Dance

One of my classmates had a dance performance in kathak yesterday evening. So me and my other classmates decided to go and watch it. Well, I actually didn’t wanna go, coz I get really bored of all this classical dances. I mean, to really enjoy something like this, I have to know something about the dance, and something about the steps, and whatnot. I really cannot appreciate it. For me a dance would be nice, if it looks nice. I can’t tell if the steps are being done correctly, or if the facial expressions are correct. All this makes no sense to me. But I went anyway, just because my other classmates wanted me to come with them.

So we watched the dance, and it looked good. It was a solo performance, and she danced for around 45 minutes continuously, with maybe a break of 5 minutes. Don’t know how she could manage it. Wow, that takes a lot of stamina. I was totally amazed. I mean, I am the kind of person who gets tired after climbing up stairs of three floors, and she dances for 45 minutes!! Hmmm, I could not see all the facial expressions and all, coz we were sitting behind. So we could not really see that properly.

Till yesterday I had never seen any sort of classical dance live. This was a first for me. It keeps coming on TV, and my parents watch it, but I never had any inclination to watch it. I don’t like classical music either.

Once, when I was maybe 10 years old, I went with my uncle to a classical music concert. And it was so boring, that I almost slept. And I didn’t want to sleep. So I did everything I could to keep my eyes open. The problem was that the music was so boring, and it was pulled to almost 3 hours! I don’t remember why I agreed to go there in the first place, coz I never liked any classical stuff. I still don’t. And that day I had decided not to go to any sort of classical stuff.

Oh well, I don’t think I will be going to any more concerts or any dance thing. I’m done with it. Well, unless someone I know is performing.

Random crap

I don’t know why I am just not writing anything. I just realized that it’s more than a week since I’ve written anything here. A lot of things are going on in my mind, and I just don’t know how exactly to write it. Maybe I just don’t wanna write what I am thinking. This just totally sucks.

I’m getting nervous about something, and I don’t know what. Yesterday was just totally weird for me. I mean, nothing really happened, but still there was/is something in my mind, and I just could not figure out what was bothering me.

So, I’m feeling really crappy today. Don’t feel like doing anything. Suddenly I have this feeling of self-pity I suppose. Everything is not going the way I want it to go. And I am just sick of this. Didn’t I already say that? Ummm...

‘I don’t know’ seems to be my favorite sentence. I mean, I don’t know anything. Anything someone asks me, I’ll say ‘ I don’t know’.

Yikes!

I don’t know why I am writing this. Haha.

Why do they make movies from books? It does not even make any sense. A book, that takes days to finish, is shown in just two hours! What kind of justice does it do to the book? On Saturday I watched ‘Bourne Identity’. Well, I started watching it anyway, but I could not watch the whole thing, because it was just damn stupid. The whole story is changed! Nothing is similar to the book, except the names. Ughh, I got so bugged of the movie, that I stopped watching it. I knew the ending anyway.

I thought I would like watching ‘godfather’. Now I don’t wanna watch the movie. I’ll save 6 hours of crap. Yippee.

Whatever.