Yesterday someone asked me what I am obsessed about. And I could think of nothing! I don't know if it is OK coz I don't have anything that I am obsessed about. I mean, I can't think of anything! Sometimes I wonder how I can be so un-emotional? Everyone has something that they need to do, or have. Like, drinking coffee, watching a tennis match, any sport for that matter or some particular food that they like to eat.
Don't get me wrong, I like things. But the point is that I would not mind not having these things. I like drinking coffee in the morning as soon as I get up. But even if it is not there, it's OK. I can go on for days without coffee.
I remember that since my childhood, I didn't want anything. My mom would be so happy if I asked her to make something to eat, and she would make it too. She always says that I don't ask for anything. I never asked for clothes, never asked for chocolates(but would get it when my sister goes out and buys) , nothing.
Few days back, a colleague asked what I want to do before I die. I thought for a few moments, when I realised that I had nothing. And, I said - nothing. So he asked if I wanted to do something that I have not done before, but want to do. Again, nothing. How can I be like this? I don't have any thing that I want to achieve, nothing that I am striving for, no ambitions.
I know so many people who want to do so many things, and I am jealous coz they know what to do. Its all clear in their heads about what they want to become. And so, they can do everything that is possible to get that.
I have been thinking for the past days about something I want to do. Bungee jumping. That's it. Wow, I will jump off a cliff with just a rope to protect me from falling over and dying. That's it.
And that's what my life is. Zilch.
