Yesterday someone asked me what I am obsessed about. And I could think of nothing! I don't know if it is OK coz I don't have anything that I am obsessed about. I mean, I can't think of anything! Sometimes I wonder how I can be so un-emotional? Everyone has something that they need to do, or have. Like, drinking coffee, watching a tennis match, any sport for that matter or some particular food that they like to eat.
Don't get me wrong, I like things. But the point is that I would not mind not having these things. I like drinking coffee in the morning as soon as I get up. But even if it is not there, it's OK. I can go on for days without coffee.
I remember that since my childhood, I didn't want anything. My mom would be so happy if I asked her to make something to eat, and she would make it too. She always says that I don't ask for anything. I never asked for clothes, never asked for chocolates(but would get it when my sister goes out and buys) , nothing.
Few days back, a colleague asked what I want to do before I die. I thought for a few moments, when I realised that I had nothing. And, I said - nothing. So he asked if I wanted to do something that I have not done before, but want to do. Again, nothing. How can I be like this? I don't have any thing that I want to achieve, nothing that I am striving for, no ambitions.
I know so many people who want to do so many things, and I am jealous coz they know what to do. Its all clear in their heads about what they want to become. And so, they can do everything that is possible to get that.
I have been thinking for the past days about something I want to do. Bungee jumping. That's it. Wow, I will jump off a cliff with just a rope to protect me from falling over and dying. That's it.
And that's what my life is. Zilch.
6 comments:
Huh, I didn't know you were still around! I thought you had forgotten the user name too along with the password this time :D
Neways, I think it is a li'l sad that you do not have anything you want. Even though such an obsession leads people to do a lot of wrong too but I think its important to have something that drives you.
But I could be wrong!
bungee .. nice ... its interesting .. once u have tried it .. try White water rafting .. its much more fun :)
I am a passionate, obsessed person. Cant relate much to what you are feeling.
However, being detached I think helps ... nothing to be disappointed about.
i think u hav many things in u r mind to do ..but u r not sure which one s of high priority
..bungee jump is one of them..
think any one of these that inspire u to try once.. like
helping poor kid in studying..
going for trekking..
river rafting..
rock climbing..
helping out any asram for one time lunch/dinner..
or else going for a long drive with u r dream boy.. etc
u hav many things..
raj
No I was not around, but I came back. Don't know for how long!
Its not a little sad, its very sad. yeah, I am searching for something that drives me.
abhinav
White river rafting!! Whoa! thats too much to ask! I can't swim!
mowgli
How can being detached help? Sometimes I dont see the point on doing something, and yet I do it.
nave
Naah, I dont have anything in mind!
Thanks for the list, will try to do some of them. Have been thinking about charity for quite a bit.
If u need any more info any of them ..u can reach me..
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